


passwords and tasers

by cihuai



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Strong Language, What Have I Done, apparently, does jisung like minho, felix is the worlds sweetheart, fuck is overused, hyunjin is rich, hyunjin likes amazon, jisung and his battle with his crackhead inner thoughts, jisung is definitely a hacker, the word wifi used atleast 1000 times, what do i tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-10 01:56:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20520062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cihuai/pseuds/cihuai
Summary: jisung has the worst internet connection in the world, which is exactly why he hacked hyunjin’s.





	passwords and tasers

**Author's Note:**

> before resuming, i just want to say how much i hesitated posting this because of how much i don’t like it. but, seeing it basically rot in my drafts is stressing me out, so i tweaked it some and here it is

jisung is definitely not a hacker. 

never once in his life has he hacked anyone, no matter the circumstances. his only offense ever was when he had tried to get into his dad's call of duty account because he had better equipment, but that only ended in him nearly disabling the account as a whole for getting the password incorrect far too many times. 

and, yes, if trying to get into his middle schools teachers computer to change his f to an a is considered a part of his skeet list, then he's confident enough to say he's committed that crime only twice. 

on the bright side, he has a very, very valid reason for his actions now. he's just moved into the neighborhood, barely any signs of furniture decorating his home – just a run-down couch he's taken from ikea for 50% off. hey, a deal is a deal. 

then, there's his naked bedroom, save for the twin-sized bed sitting in the center with no such evidence of a headboard. jisung knows that he has the money to atleast present his new home in a better manner, but hey, he's a noob here and he's quite sure any visitors would completely understand. not that he'll have any anytime soon. 

he stole his best friend's tv also, persuading the other male that he's in desperate need of one and he'd definitely pay him back. that day never came. he perfectly remembers the look of exasperation on his face, and jisung is certainly positive that the other was questioning why he had befriended him in the first place. 

he's a handful and he knows it.

but now, as he sits on his couch, seconds away from throwing a tantrum from how slow his netflix is running, he contemplates calling up his cable man and getting a few words in. fuck, why did he have to be the one with the shitty wifi? he's beginning to come to the realization that he should've just stayed rotting in his mom's basement. 

the light of his phone barely illuminates his face, the early morning sun beginning to seep through the curtains of his living room. yes, he had definitely trudged to his living room at six in the morning because of the lack of tv or entertainment he has in his bedroom. and yes, he also, maybe, possibly sleeps on the couch more than his own bed. 

he goes to check if his wifi is also being loony on his phone, and much to his own disappointment, it surely is. he's becoming awfully sick of reliving his tabs not loading time and time again. jisung is ready to pure hot acid over his router, giving it the bird and take it back to the—

oh.

jisung squints excessively, completely disregarding the fact that his screen is right infront of his face. 

jinnie's wifi U^ェ^U

a snort ripples through his nose. who the hell could be dumb enough to name their wifi such a daffy name. but wait, who is jinnie and why is his wifi coming up in jisung's options. 

the exceptionally small man doesn't ponder on it too long. seriously, fuck it. a single thumb presses it, only for his face to fall displeasingly at the sight of a password needing to be inserted. if jisung had brushed his teeth this morning, he would definitely have groaned aloud, but he hasn't yet and he doesn't want to take the risk of his breath coming back at him. 

he clicks his tongue unpleasantly, lips twisting in a very, very upset frown. jisung likes to believe that he's a good man, that he's there for his friends and parents. he doesn't cut lines, he waits patiently for his coffee instead of complaining, he waves at the children at the park whenever he passes by – so why the fuck is he cursed with bad wifi? 

he ignores the fact that the movie finally loads up, because he only knows it's just going to get stuck on the loading screen seconds after. and that's exactly what it does, jisung throwing his head back against the backrest, recoiling instantly after it thrashed against it so painfully. 

fuck it. before he could even overthink it, he's lounging forwards, grabbing his phone from the table where he'd thrown it in frustration, and clicking on the unfamiliar wifi name again. he shimmies his laptop from beneath the couch, (that's quite literally the best location, seeing as he's accidentally knocked it off of his dresser one too many times) and pulls the screen up. 

so yeah, maybe jisung is a hacker to a certain extent.

if anyone had seen him type in how to hack someone's wifi, they'd deem him absolutely crazy and desperate. and quite frankly, jisung knows this is an act of desperation, but his favorite netflix shows are a must! there's no way in hell he's going to let a minor issue like slow connection stop him. plus, he's sure that it belongs to one of his neighbors, and who could deny the cute, new guy in town of fast and free wifi? 

apparently his neighbor who's banging furiously on his front door. 

"what the fuck, man?" 

the guy standing in the threshold of his door is relatively tall. or, maybe not. jisung is just shorter than most average guys, so to say his perspective on the scraggly guy before him is large could only mean so much. 

of course jisung had skillfully found his own loop hole through the whole password thing. though, some small, doubtful part of him knew that it wasn't going to work and he was going to end up drifting into slumber again at the sight of a loading screen, there was a more bolder part of him that said otherwise. 

he remembers it like it was half an hour ago. excluding the fact that it was half an hour ago. he'd done a stupid victory dance once he had gotten in, snickering to himself afterwards at the jackass name that the stranger had chosen. 

123ihatepeas

like, come on, a child could've thought of that. still, jisung has no room to talk. just last week his password had consisted of the first ten letters of the alphabet, and that immediately was changed by his best friend, minho, when he'd told him that he was for sure to get his wifi hacked into by desperate teens between infectious laughter. jisung had laughed too, playfully kicking the other out of his half-filled house. not to mention, the other male just couldn't shut up about jisung basically being a broke, college dropout. 

so, jisung stands there stupidly, hand clutching the knob of his door as a pissed man stands with his arms crossed. 

"is there a problem?" a single blink from the smaller. jisung takes notice of how red his ears have become, and he swears that he sees steam coming up off of them. 

"did you hack my wifi?" 

"no." 

the taller huffs, sending him a hard, knowing stare. jisung had just lied, yes, but it's just begun and he's sure that there's still a chance that he could keep it up. yeah, jisung hacked his wifi. so what? what's the worst that this guy could possibly do? call the police? 

"i'm calling the police!" 

okay. this guy is a nitwit. jisung stumbles back in shock – or, atleast he thinks he does. he feels frozen in place, really. well, yes, of course that hour was going to come where his lala-land would come to an end, one of his neighbors kicking him off of their wifi; changing their passwords, maybe? but this? this, this, this. this is something he hadn't expected. 

shit, if someone had been using jisung's wifi without his knowledge, he'd be pissed. anyone would be pissed. he would probably kick them off, change his password and that'd be the end of it. storming on someone's property, banging on their door and claiming jail time.. for wifi. no, he wouldn't do that. 

"what!" jisung chokes, quite literally. and just for a second, he completely forgets the fact that he's still clad in his spongebob pajamas, bat-man sleep mask looped around his head. "don't you think that's a little bit extreme?" 

is that a smirk jisung is looking at? why on earth is that man grinning? he's practically angry at jisung, that's how he remembers it. honestly, jisung wants to lounge forward and slap it away. 

"so you did hack into it?" 

wait.

"what? no, i didn't say that." 

"you implied it."

fuck you, whoever you are. really. 

the shit-eating grin plastered on the others face says a whole lot. jisung is a deer caught in headlights. he's just been captured trying to store away the bloody remains of his victim, but fails miserably as he leaves behind fingertips that perfectly identify–

"dude, what the fuck are you talking about?" jisung hears someone say, and to his misfortune, he's still standing at the door. can't he just disappear already? what happened to all of those superpowers he thought he had during his entire childhood. 

and, funny thing is, he was saying all of that aloud. 

"okay, yeah, i hacked your shit. so what?" jisung shows his palms in defense. "i mean, my wifi is really shitty and i saw yours, so why not?" nothing. just an eyebrow raised his way. "it's not like i stun-gunned your mom." 

a snort comes from jisung. apparently, snorting is looked down upon based on the way the boy before him crinkles his nose. he's being judged so hard. he's seconds away from slamming the door. 

"i'll contact my attorney if you do it again." 

what the fuck. 

"okay, whatever. i get it. now get off of my property before i contact my attorney." and with that, jisung so much as shuts the door. he can't afford it separating from it's hinges like it had almost done last week when he ran into it with his coffee table. 

jisung, also, doesn't have an attorney. 

"so, you hacked his wifi?"

great. the older finds this humorous. minho throws his hand over his mouth, shielding his demonic laughter from overpowering the entire café. yes, he's that powerful. or, maybe he's a demon. jisung goes with the latter. 

"yes, i did." he, too, finds it humorous. just, not as hilarious as minho does. he's going to blow this whole thing out of proportion, jisung already knows it. sometimes, he truly does feel like he needs to take raven's leading role on her famous sitcom. "and i'd do it again if i have to." 

"oh, a badass." comes another voice on jisung's right. felix had spoken up from where he stayed pressed to minho's side, giving jisung very leech-y vibes. he's not one to judge, though. he finds the constant need of physical contact from the two quite endearing. except when he's third-wheeling embarrassingly hard on some occasions.

"no, i'm just desperate."

minho moves slightly from his place, much to felix's dismay, and begins to tear away at his bagel. "who is this mystery guy, anyways? 'sounds like a real prick." 

perhaps jisung may have exaggerated the story a bit. according to his earlier statements, the stranger had threatened to burn his house down and steal his router. and now that jisung looks back, that was a bit much, so perhaps the boys had known that he was overanalyzing the whole situation. 

"uh, i don't know. why would i have known his name?" jisung scoffs in mock offense. "you know, hyung, not everyone just goes around introducing themselves to every living thing in hopes of getting in their pants." 

when minho reaches across the tiny booth table to nail jisung in the head, felix whines somewhere behind him, and their act of foolery has regulars glaring their way. 

"fuck you, sung. i hope you actually do go to prison after hacking into someone else's wifi." 

"you can't go to jail for that!" jisung says, probably for the millionth time since he's opened his eyes. 

at first, yes, jisung had thought that someone could actually be imprisoned for piggybacking off of someone's router internet connection. that is, until minho had swatted the back of his head on their way to the café, loudly laughing at how jisung came out of the womb as an idiot. he'd honestly been disappointed in himself for worrying all night that the police would come barging through his door, putting him in handcuffs and carrying him off. 

"so, you mean to tell me that you didn't atleast get his name?" felix says again, eyebrows furrowed and grin secretly drawing his lips up. 

jisung feels his eyes glaze over in what he believes to be his strong want to dump his hot coffee on felix's face. but wait, jisung perks up in sudden conclusion. 

"actually! oh, i'm so dumb." jisung suddenly says, grasping a chewing minho's attention. "yes, you dimwits, i actually did get his name. it's jinnie." 

it's like the room falls eerily silent after that, like everyone's turned his way after he's uttered those words. 

"what? i'm being serious. that's what his internet's display name said." and when he shrugs, felix is being hand-fed the rest of minho's bagel – albeit the fact that he gets teased a couple of times before the older drops it between awaiting lips. jisung seriously needs to stop staring. 

he sips his hot coffee and fuck, he's over twenty minutes late for work. on any other occasion, jisung could give less of a fuck being late for anything. school, college, parties, weddings – which wasn't a good idea seeing the look on his cousins face when he showed up during the after party. 

too bad his manager at the furniture store has a stick up his ass. yes, the furniture store. jisung had officially hit rock bottom. but, what else could he possibly do? he was a burden on his mom's shoulders when he lived under her roof for too long after dropping out of college, and now that he's gotten his own home, (with his parents paying the majority of the price) he needs to get off of his ass and start making money. 

"okay, losers. i need to head out. woojin's going to eat me alive." jisung stands from his seat, taking one more gulp from his coffee and fishing his pockets for three dollars. "that's for my coffee. thanks hyung! bye lix!" 

jisung is pushing past the glass doors, the chime above his head dinging pleasantly as he's running down the sidewalks like a mad-man mere seconds later. he mentally prepares himself for so much slander and an ear full of how much he bullshits. jisung sure isn't one to let someone bitch him around like that, but he needs this job to keep his stability, so he won't dare to protest, even if his managers harsh words come out in chunks of angry spit. 

he really, really regrets moving out sometimes. 

the dark, cold night air hits jisung's face brutally, his cheeks have grown red and bitten-cold to the touch from how nippy it is. luckily, he had stole one of his coworkers employees jackets on his way out, and he thanks his lucky stars that his mother raised a smart boy who was made to predict the weather. not. 

his shoes crunch over stray leaves on the ground, and there's a possibility that he makes sure that he steps on every last one – even if it means that he'll make it home five minutes later than he should. 

said male gently kicks over the rock that his house key lies under, his legs practically screaming in joy as he finally arrives at his doorstep. but – where the fuck is his house key? 

jisung throws himself into a panic, crouching down in the dark to try and feel for the key. maybe it moved with the wind during the day? jisung had known how windy it'd gotten while he was clocked in, but he hadn't thought that his house key would've blown away! 

shaky hands feel over the empty spaces in his pockets, stomping down once when there's no sign or shape of his house key.

"this is fucking great." when his breath comes out in small puffs, he wants to, probably, disappear into thin air. fall has hardly begun, yet the weather makes jisung feel like he's stark naked in the midst of winter. yes, jisung has definitely decided his least favorite season. 

"why're you standing there like a moron?" 

and to make matters worse, someone has just spotted a stranded man, who so happens to not be so stranded. if being locked out of your own home is considered stranded in a way, then jisung would gladly take the cake. 

"excuse me? did you just call me a–" yes, jisung may need glasses on many, many occasions, but he's about ninety percent sure that his night-vision superpowers have just kicked in. "–moron." 

"yeah, i did." 

out of all people who could've been around at eight at night, it just had to be the person whose internet he hacked into yesterday. sometimes, he honestly questions why the world hasn't swallowed him up yet, because he sure does feel the pure hatred it specifically darts on him.

"if you're here to pretend like you have an attorney called up on me, then stop. because i know you lied–" 

a sudden outburst of laughter interrupts jisung mid-speech, and he wants to scoff at being disrespected to this extent. 

"you're a goof." he fondles with his car keys, jisung guesses, as he locks his car. wow, jisung is still waiting for the day that he purchases his own vehicle. he just needs to learn how to drive far, even if he's twenty two. 

jisung's eyes never leave the lean figure approaching his own home, and it's noticeably larger than jisung's himself – but so what, he's not easy to make jealous. forget him, jisung wants to murmur as he squats down again, using the flashlight from his phone to illuminate his porch. woah, his very filthy porch, at that. he reminds himself to sweep it out soon in his notes. 

he parts his lips – and yes, this is when he's a split second away from groaning out to release his frustration. although, lucky for his own embarrassment, he doesn't get the chance because another groan that definitely does not belong to him rips through the night air. 

he's not masturbating on his porch, is he? 

jisung crumples at his own thoughts, lips turned down into a very disgusted frown as he blinks in the direction of his neighbor. he's contemplating moving out at this point if his thoughts become reality. 

"what's up with you?" jisung finds himself screaming across his yard, which he certainly does not have to do because the yards departing them aren't that large. 

the male doesn't even glance his way. okay, fuck you, jinnie's wifi! 

"i left my house keys at my dad's house." and the way he says it makes jisung want to rolls his eyes. (which he probably does subconsciously). it's not like jisung was supposed just know that little bit of information. what is he? a stalker? 

so, this guy has major douchebag energy and house bigger than the the neighborhood itself. this is outrageous. jisung swears he's seen this plot somewhere on netflix. 

"who's the goof now?" jisung grins to himself, but that's wiped away quickly when he comes back to the reality that he's still locked out. they're both goofs. 

"we both are." 

fuck, he's a mind reader too? 

jisung continues his rapid search for his key, even though there's this enormous part of him that knows damn well that it's not where he thinks it is. he tries to put his mind to good use for once, backtracking his entire day. he hadn't taken his key to work with him, nor when he stopped by the café with minho and felix. 

minho and felix. oh, how jisung prays to god that maybe he did end up taking it to the café unbeknownst to himself, and that it is now safely in the hold of his best friend just waiting to give it back to him anytime now. 

"no, i don't have it." jisung practically cries when minho confirms his worst fear, and he swears he hears felix's shocked you lost your house key?! voice looming through the background. he also catches his internet victim phoning a couple of others as well. 

"you've got to be fucking kidding me." 

"stop cursing so much. it ages you faster." minho warns through the speaker, but he's guilty of having a potty mouth just as bad as jisung's. 

"stop it! this is no time for jokes! i'm locked out of my house with rich guy!" jisung hush-whispers, placing a hand over his mouth and the speaker like it's actually blocking out any sound. his mom always laughed at his poor attempts at whispering. 

"who's rich guy?" just by the way minho says it, jisung could tell he's probably doing air quotations – and he's presented correct when he hears felix saying something about jisung not being able to see him. jisung really questions minho's knowledge of new-age electronics these days. 

"jinnie! jinnie is rich guy, dumbass!" curse jisung and his big mouth. 

"why are you screaming my name for the whole neighborhood to hear?" great, just great. he's speaking directly at jisung now. so yes, maybe he is terrible at keeping his voice leveled into a reasonable octave. 

jisung pulls the phone away from his ear, and maybe he wants his porch to grow shark teeth and eat away at his body until he's nothing but a puddle of faded humiliation. 

"what?" 

playing the clueless card is his go-to. 

"i mean, i knew you were weird enough to use my wifi without permission, but gossiping about me? you're something else." too bad jisung isn't able to see the all too teasing grin plastered on the tallers face. because yeah, it would've been slapped off with as much strength as he could muster. 

"i knew you were weird enough to fake an attorney, but eaves-dropping on me? you're something else." jisung mentally gives himself a pat on the back. that was his best comeback this year. 

"i was not!" said man stomps his foot down quite childishly, and wow, jisung thought that he had the brain of a toddler. "you were practically screaming, y'know? i guess you got unlucky in the octave category." 

jisung can feel his ears grow numb. he doesn't know if it's from how irritated he's growing, or the frost bite that could be eating away at his skin. either way, he just wants to be in the comfort of his own home; or whatever he could call it thus far. 

he's a pretty loud guy, he knows that. talks too loud, sings too loud in the shower, cries too loud, he even whispers too loud. is it even considered a whisper at this point? so, sure, whatever. maybe the guy had poked a sensitive nerve inside of jisung, but what type of tough guy would he be to get hurt by something a stranger says? definitely not a tough one, that's for sure. 

"you left your car on." 

yep. that was the only reply jisung could come up with in those short, ten seconds. he wants to mentally slap himself, but he finds himself doing it physically, phone coming in contact with his face in the most painful manner. he hears a sudden eruption of laughter from his new enemy (he's definitely exaggerating) and oh, he hadn't hung up on minho yet. 

"sorry, i'll call you back whenever i get inside." he hangs it up, not catching minho's giggly goodbye. 

now he's alone. near tears at the fact that it's been a while twenty-five minutes he's been out here. he's starting to really regret not chugging down his entire cup of coffee this morning. atleast he'd be full of energy by now instead of slumped against his front door. 

"i'm hyunjin." 

"what?" 

"i'm hyunjin, doofus." 

oh! he's standing over jisung now, and he swears he mistakes him for steph curry for the way he's towering over his sitting figure. he stands though, not liking the whole interior feeling. and shit, he's still shorter by noticeable inches. 

hyunjin. hyunjinnie. jinnie. jinnie's wifi. it clicks now, jisung gets it. 

"why're you on my property? you know i could call my a–" 

"yeah, yeah. attorney. can't i live that down?" 

jisung is pretty sure he's giving hyunjin his best stink-eye right about now. but wow, this man is a work of art this close up. it's almost intimidating. it's like someone's drawn him with pencils from heaven, not one mistake made and– 

"are you shitting me right now?" 

"what?" it's quite ironic how much he says that. 

"do you actually talk aloud like that?" 

jisung could feel his heart and his entire being shrivel into a mass of dust, lying there helplessly as it blows away in a wind of embarrassment. kind of like his keys. 

"shut the fuck up, okay. i didn't say anything." jisung goes to shove hyunjin, but decides against it at the last second because, well, hyunjin isn't one of his friends. he can't just go shoving people around like he does with minho and many others. "you just like to boost your ego. go find your house keys or something." 

jisung turns around in hopes that he'll walk away, but when he stills feels hyunjin's heavy presence behind him, he stomps and whines, saying, "go away, i'm embarrassed." 

"so you do know what you just said about me?" jisung surely can't see his expression, but he sure as hell can hear a grin lingering somewhere in the air around him. 

"go away, hyunjin, seriously." jisung huffs, bringing his phone up to his face to check the time. it's only been four minutes since his poor property and bubble space has been so brutally disrupted. he blames no one but jinnie with the dog emoticon next to his name. "you're still standing there like you want to help me get inside my house or something." 

yeah, jisung is subtly asking for help. so what? he's allowed to persuade and convince for his own selfish needs. because, fuck that if hyunjin wants the favor returned. 

"the fuck? i have my own house keys to locate, jisung." 

jisung blinks at his front door, and he swears he feels goosebumps forming on his arms even though he has a jacket on. when he turns back over, he makes solid eye contact with hyunjin. sure, one would find it intimidating, but jisung just wants to run away and claim to everyone that he's met his own personal stalker. oh boy, how bad he wants his own netflix series. 

"it's on your name tag. ashley furniture home store, no?" hyunjin speaks out before jisung could even utter a single word, and jisung quickly takes notice of hyunjin's red nose. 

quickly, jisung grips both sides of his coworkers jacket, covering up his very hideous furniture store work attire. why won't this day just come to an end already? he's so badly wishing for his keys to just magically appear in the palm of his hand, for hyunjin to disappear and to be cuddled up in his single bed while he gossips to minho until he falls asleep. 

that last part has never happened, but jisung stills hopes it does someday. 

"then go find your fucking keys then, you poophead!" 

okay, what the fuck. what the fuck. what the fuck. poophead? seriously? oh god, he's literally a two-year old. 

"shithead, i mean. prick." it's far too late for him to try to correct his language with swears, but he still attempts it. he's tired, so tired. and cold, freezing. he probably looks like a loser with low-iron because hyunjin looks perfectly fine. "–dumbass." 

maybe jisung does spend the next five minutes insulting hyunjin — or trying to — while the taller just stares, arms crossed and nose growing more red the longer he stands there. why is he standing there? grinning from ear to ear, laughing even, at jisung's animated personality. why is he so amused by this? jisung doesn't want him to be entertained, he wants him to go home and find his own house keys. why isn't he looking for his house keys? 

when hyunjin finally, finally leaves, jisung lets out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. what a bully, really. jisung convinces himself that he and his job have been personally attacked by a complete stranger. 

a complete stranger who looked like he was crafted by god. 

"you stupid fuck! you actually said–" 

"i know what i said!" 

jisung has a nasty habit of gossiping. really, it's nasty. if he so much as run over a bump in the road one day, he's damn sure he's going to tell someone. minho is always the unlucky victim of it. no matter what happens, jisung will share it. oh, he dropped his ramen on his floor? minho and felix are going to get every last detail of how it happened. a nasty rumor spreads that someone from his old college has stds? he's on that. 

talking is a hobby, minho told him, completely directing the statement at jisung specifically. to which the younger only replied with a wave of his hand, knowing to shut out minho's strident words throughout the years. there's always a hint of love behind his jokes nevertheless. 

so, here he sits, surrounded by four of his friends who find jisung's humiliating situation very humorous. he laughs too, he'll reluctantly admit that he is an idiot for his choice of words and actions. 

much to jisung's fortune last night, he'd suddenly remembered how he'd moved his keys to a different location the morning before. and that was all because of him getting tired of swatting at the many ants and unspecified bugs that latched into his key throughout the day. it was now (unsafely) placed on the hedge of his front door, even though jisung finds himself struggling to reach it at times. so hey, although he wasted nearly 45 minutes freezing his balls off outside, he's learned a very valuable lesson. 

hyunjin is a big, big meanie. 

"i thought we've already established that sung is a toddler in disguise." minho says somewhere perched on the couch, and of course, felix underneath his arm. 

stop staring, jisung, fuck. 

"who is this guy, anyways?" seungmin, jisung's friend who'd he met through jeongin, takes a large bite of his ham sandwich. more like jisung's ham sandwich which he'd taken from him seconds after he made it. 

"his name is hyunjin." jisung cradles his cold feet. why is minho's place always below freezing?

from jisung's peripheral, he could see felix sit up suddenly, unraveling himself from the knot he and minho had made overtime. "hyunjin? hwang hyunjin?" 

jisung shrugs. "i don't know his last name, lix. we only talked for about ten minutes." 

"plump lips? dark hair? like, seven feet tall?" 

seungmin chokes on his sandwich, much to jisung's happiness. "infamous wifi victim hyunjin is seven feet tall?!" 

jisung snorts, drawing his eyes back to a curious felix. so, he's actually serious? jisung had only spoken with him for ten minutes, maybe? hell, was it even considered an actual conversation? it only consisted of jisung embarrassing himself and hyunjin laughing his ass off. his laugh, yeah, it's quite contagious. 

"yes, definitely seven feet." jisung eggs the joke, but his nod is sent felix's way, like he's asking for a furthermore on the youngers sudden interest. "what's up?"

"no fucking way," minho strikes an innocent felix in his back for his poor choice of words. jisung just thanks his lucky stars he isn't in that position. "i know him! he's like, the best dancer in my class! he's a god, sungie. and to think he's your neighbor." 

wait. backtrack, backtrack. jisung wants to vomit up the ham sandwich that he didn't eat. hyunjin's a dancer? a god? the best? felix knows hyunjin? felix is a dancer? if jisung was in a sitcom, this is the part where he'd turn to the audience, everything around him stops and he talks to the camera firsthand. really, he needs his own show. 

"what?" this time, it comes in unison for everyone but felix. 

"i'm literally a dumbass." felix laughs, and pushes his palm against minho's face when he hums his agreement. "hyunjin was literally telling me about his wifi getting broken into, i don't know, three days ago? i just didn't think your stories connected, y'know?"

only a fool wouldn't connect the dots. thanks felix for your headassery. 

"so, you mean to tell me, you're the biggest shithead ever?" those words barely leave jeongin's mouth, felix lounging at the poor boy like he's prey. 

jisung isn't sure where the fight starts or ends, he just knows that felix is his new outlet for the boy who likes to call himself jinnie.

"now, you're going to be a good boy and apologize to hyunjin, okay?" felix runs his fingers through jisung's hair, smiling down at him in a way jisung can't quite put his finger on. 

a week after the whole fiasco with him being stranded by his front door, felix had pulled him aside, claiming that he wanted to spend some quality time with jisung, seeing as their only reasons of friendship were minho. and yes, maybe he was right. jisung and felix wouldn't even glance one another's way if the younger wasn't happily claimed up as minho's boyfriend. but, so what? isn't that how most 'i have a boyfriend now, best friend' relationships start off? 

to hell with it. what if felix is trying to get into his pants? what would jisung do? he wouldn't tell minho, like ever, that's for sure. he's out of his mind, really. this is felix he's talking about. the small, freckled sweetheart who'd won minho's heart. the worst he could do is completely miss the urinal. 

"i'm not a dog," jisung snarls, but felix rubbing at his scalp is bringing a state of relaxation. "i can't believe i let you trick me into this. you're scandalous." 

felix only gives him a charming smile, retreating his hand gently. "good luck, and be nice." that's when the other ducks out of the café, jisung slumping into his booth.

best case scenario, jisung could give this man his bitch face and watch as he cowers pathetically in the corner, coming to his senses that jisung is, in fact, more superior and will forever remain that way. then, with much excessive persuading, jisung could pry hyunjin's wifi password out of him, having his fair share of fast and free internet. no harm done, right? 

worst case scenario, hyunjin could never show up. he could leave jisung sitting here, expecting, having gulped down every last ounce of his pride already to just be stood up. no, no. jisung would let pigs fly before he'd suffer through that humiliating trauma. 

he's one thought away from getting up and weaving out before that familiar ding of the café's door rings through the place. the chirpy lady at the counter sends, whoever this is, a greeting. the same one she gives everyone. jisung could do a much better job behind there, he's marking his words. 

like expected, hyunjin emerges from the glass doors. holy fucking shit. why does he look like a movie star? yeah, as if. if movie stars wore faded jeans and an american boyband merch shirt. he watches on meekly as curious (lost even?) eyes scan and analyze the café before they land solidly on jisung himself. goddamn, if looks could kill. 

it's awkward, to say the least. the whole sitting down quietly with small hello's. the eerie silence, save for mumbled chatter, as jisung falsely scans his menu to buy time. even though, if he's going to get this futile apology over with, he'd want to do it quickly, seeing as he has to be ready for work in about 25 minutes. just the mere thought of clocking into that place gives jisung his very own dark cloud to linger over his head. 

"i'm sorry for hacking your internet, i guess." jisung decides to break the silence. fuck it, he's going to be the bigger person for once. he's not exactly apologetic, though. 

over the sharp tip of his menu, jisung could make out the triumphant grin slowly but surely tainting hyunjin's features. jisung grimaces at the fact that the other finds humor in this; that he finds jisung's heartfelt (not) apology humorous. 

"are you ser–" 

"you guess?" 

what the hell. yes, jisung guesses. because, funny thing is, jisung isn't even sorry. he'd do it over and over again if it means hyunjin would wipe that derpy smirk off of his face. he'd gladly stream every episode of the office while connected to hyunjin's wifi. he'd run him out of the neighborhood by how much he loops and always finds a tunnel with light with guessing this blockheads wifi password. 

if words could make jisung break a sweat, he'd be reeking of musk by now. 

"yes, i guess." jisung adds emphasis, finally setting his menu aside to get a better look at hyunjin. staring problems, jisung. he can practically hear minho whispering in his ear at this point. "i'm not even that sorry. felix forced me to do this." 

hyunjin only shrugs. "i know." 

that's it? he knows? where's the hurt in his eyes? where's that look of surprise because he's thought jisung meant this wholeheartedly? this is absolutely unacceptable. jisung is seriously taken aback by hyunjin's entire demeanor. 

but, that is it. no one speaks up after that. a good five to ten minutes go by, jisung trying to ignore hyunjin's continuous hums of music. he doesn't mind, he won't lie, it's almost like a lullaby. but, wait– this guy is a weirdo and jisung certainly isn't too fond of him. why though? 

"one, two, three i hate peas is a stupid password, by the way." 

much to jisung's surprise, hyunjin's eyes widen, murmured noises coming to a halt. 

"hey! no one guessed it!" 

"i did." 

the glare hyunjin throws his way is sharp, but this time, there's a hint of skittishness behind it. or maybe jisung is seeing things. hyunjin is a mind reader after all. 

"this whole thing is blown out of proportion, anyways." jisung says after a long silence. "i mean, come on, everyone does it, right? why is it such a big deal when i do it?" 

hyunjin nods, lip between his teeth. "yeah, i didn't really care all that much after i forced you to disconnect." the taller pricks his menu from the table, hooded eyes scanning over it once. "–even though i know you didn't. great taste, by the way." 

jisung could only blink. oh. oh, alright. he feels quite stupid now, spending the last week bending himself backwards over some stupid shit like using his neighbors wifi. yet, all along, hyunjin didn't even give a fuck. who's the goof now? jisung mentally sketches the whole clown getup onto himself. 

"wait, say it again." 

"say what?" 

"what you just said three seconds ago!" 

hyunjin snorts, and ha, it's jisung's turn to grimace this time. "that i don't care?" 

jisung nods, a smile of his own beginning to pull at the corners of his lips. if jisung could take his week back and use it for more constructive and useful things instead of this foolery, he definitely would. maybe. 

"does this mean that i could use jinnie's wifi, because mine is really shitty." jisung recoils backwards when hyunjin bursts into a fit of laughter that jisung is sure it's just him attempting to hide his embarrassment. 

"no, please don't call it that. it's uncomfortable hearing you say it." the male waves his hand faintly, other hand going over his mouth. he's a pretty sight to look at, jisung won't lie. 

"that's what you named it." the smaller remarks, continuing to stand his ground. although, he's far too confused at the fact that he may or may not be growing comfortable in his spot, chatting it away with hyunjin. 

hyunjin only rolled his eyes at that, and jisung swears he could see a tiny smile slowly building onto his face. too bad he knows the other might just deny it to his grave.

"but still." hyunjin's stubborn, but that's fine. jisung is too. 

"jinnie's wifi." 

"stop it." 

"jin–"

"i'm going to tase you." 

"jin– wait, what?" 

jisung could feel his eyes widen. perhaps he chokes on air, too. if hyunjin was joking, jisung isn't sure. though, he does know that he's in a state of shock. the new eruption of laughter though, confirms his second worst fear ever. atleast, that's what it is right now. 

"i'm joking." hyunjin giggles again. he actually fucking giggles. that little noise that sounds so soft and contagious. what in tarnation is he? "i do have a taser, though." 

jisung blinks, saying, "why? are you like, a cop? is that why your house is so big?" 

again, hyunjin giggles, but directly at jisung. "i'm not a cop, you pinhead." the taller scans his menu before waving a random worker over. "do i look like a cop?" his eyes are squinted, face twisting in something of amusement and confusion. "i just like to buy random things on amazon." 

jisung wishes he could just buy random things on amazon. no, he doesn't have enough spare money just lying around ready to be used. every. penny. counts. there's no way he's taking that risky route. atleast, not until he gets a better job that pays more. 

"and you bought a taser?" jisung deadpans. what even is his life anymore. 

hyunjin shrugs lightly, and jisung checks the time. he's late for work again. since when did twenty-five minutes go by? the dark cloud that had been lingering over his head, now moves even lower, dropping hail onto him. 

"hey, i have to go. but it really was nice meeting you and getting this whole.. thing sorted out." jisung says quickly, so fast that it probably didn't even register in hyunjin's mind that it was a sentence. at that, hyunjin perks up, standing from his chair as well. 

"oh, then here's my number," what in the world. his number? his what. huh. jisung probably looks like a kicked puppy, he knows it. why is hyunjin giving jisung his number? "call me anytime? we could watch a movie at my place or something. i mean, only if your wifi is still shitty." a small piece of paper is handed jisung's way. 

what. okay, cool. 

hyunjin just invited him to watch a movie at his place. anytime. jisung tries so hard to swallow the knot that's formed in his throat. it's a pretty big one, too. 

"or not. i'm not going to tase you, if that's what you're thinking." 

jisung takes it, smiling at him for a quick second before shoving it in the depths of his pocket. 

"thanks. my wifi is pretty bad all the time, so it looks like i'll be over everyday." 

nice one, jisung. not creepy at all. 

"fine by me." 

when jisung finally exits the café, yeah, there's a bit of awkward tension. and perhaps, he's not really planning to go over hyunjin's – but that's for the others sake, right? he's just not ready for that awkwardness that lingers around them. 

hyunjin is a hulu type of guy. that's something that jisung had taken note of when the other flicked his - dare he say gigantic – tv on. 

so, yes, jisung went against his own word, now lounging comfortably on hyunjin's white sofa. everything here is bigger than jisung. the couches, the rooms, the many tv's, hyunjin. everything. it's intimidating, to say the least. his ceiling is possibly making jisung dizzy, it goes up a while and that alone had jisung's eyes dancing. 

just an hour ago, when hyunjin had scoffed offensively when he'd found out that jisung was never going to show up, jisung felt like he kicked the other. that's how it truly felt. the older had caught him at the grocery store, complaining about jisung's sudden absence. jisung had no excuse. he couldn't come up with something clever on the spot, so he actually told hyunjin that they're awkward together. the taller only laughed, dragging jisung out of the store – one cart of food forgotten in the freezer aisle. 

if it wasn't for felix knowing hyunjin, jisung would've definitely thought that hyunjin was a pedophile forcing him to his house. thank you, felix. he had shot the freckled man a text, claiming that he's with hyunjin now. one smiley emoji was sent back, and jisung was left to think that it was minho. 

so, here he sits, very comfortably buried into soft cushions as hyunjin scrolls through hulu. jisung wants to protest, defend his hardcore love for netflix maybe, but he doesn't. 

"let's watch the amazing world of gumball." hyunjin suddenly says, the biggest smile plastered on his face.

"what is that?" 

this time, hyunjin blinks down at jisung. if he keeps that up, jisung might have to hit him. sometimes, he thinks that his overbearing level of physical contact in the worst way possible is a bit too much. 

"get out," hyunjin chuckles, facepalming afterwards. but, the thing is, he's not dumb like jisung, so he uses his free hand to do so instead of the occupied one. "are you actually serious?" 

"i'm serious, i've never heard of it." jisung sits up this time, squinting his eyes at hyunjin. the taller is much more softer in this light. but who he is to have an opinion on that? "it sounds like a kids show." 

"it's not! there's adult jokes everywhere!" 

"that's probably the only reason you watch it." 

"that is not true." hyunjin scoffs in mock offense. jisung laughs at that. 

"okay, whatever, yeah. let's watch it." jisung snickers, leaning back into his spot on the couch. 

something he does notice about this whole situation, is the fact that when hyunjin finally clicks on the show, it loads up immediately. even, there's not one time where the show stops to buffer. he's definitely coming back tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> if you’ve gotten this far, thanks for letting me take up that time of your day/night. give me your feedback maybe while i sleep for the next three days 
> 
> sorry for any errors you guys might notice yikes, i’ll be back to edit it soon
> 
> also peep the minlix :D i fucking love that ship


End file.
